Every transition
holds a question:
"Who are you now,
and who are you
becoming?"
Spiritual integration is the act of weaving together different parts of ourselves — our wounds, our wisdom, our struggles and our strengths — into our own version of an authentic and meaningful life.This is deep internal work, and no one can do it for us. However, many people find it helpful to walk the sacred path toward greater wholeness with an experienced companion.My name is Karsten van Sander, and I am a spiritual director. I work with people facing loss, grief, or difficult transitions, as well as with people simply yearning for a deeper connection to themselves and their highest purpose.Click below to find out more about me, my work, and how to get in touch.
About me
Here are a few things that shape me as a person and my approach to spiritual direction.
For example, as a Quaker, I trust in the power of deep and intentional listening, and of seeking spiritual guidance with an open and receptive heart. I experience silence as a sanctuary where the soul can breathe, expand and (re-)connect with its highest purpose and with the divine. My own spiritual practice includes meditation, time in communion with nature, and physical activities like yoga, Qi Gong and Aikido. In all of these, I seek to integrate spirituality with embodied experience.As a healthcare chaplain at a large trauma center, I help people navigate personal crises, losses of physical ability and identity, and often also the loss of long-held beliefs that no longer provide answers and meaning. Walking with people through difficult and painful times of grief, I know that there are no easy answers. Sometimes, the most transformative thing to bring into a moment of despair is a silent presence and a promise to walk together through the darkness. The daily experience of loss and death is also an important reminder that life, every moment of it, is a precious gift.As a man, I share in the work of dismantling patriarchal structures that have caused harm to women, men, and the planet. From personal conversations, I also know that many men suffer from shame, isolation, and a loss of purpose and identity. Often, they quietly long to reconnect with and embody a masculine energy that is strong, creative, generous and kind. As a co-facilitator of men's work, I know that men heal in spaces that welcome vulnerability and courage, where we can empower and lift each other up, and remember who we truly are beyond our outward roles and titles. Our communities need men who are whole—who have integrated both strength and tenderness, clarity and compassion, and who can then serve others with purpose and integrity.Finally, as a professional, I have degrees in theology and ethics from Oxford University. I am a board-certified chaplain through the Association of Professional Chaplains (APC), and did my clinical pastoral training at UCLA Medical Center in Santa Monica, CA. I am also a certified life and bereavement coach through the International Coaching Federation (ICF), and a mediator through the Conflict Resolution Institute (CRI) of Ventura County.Most importantly, I have worked with thousands of people from diverse backgrounds who are all putting together the parts of their life into a unique, coherent and meaningful story.I would like to hear yours.
What is Spiritual Direction?
Spiritual direction is an ancient way of paying special attention to our life in the company of another person. 'Direction', in this context, should not be understood as one person telling the other person what to do. In fact, as a spiritual director, I don’t give advice or guidance. Instead, I offer presence and an open-ended process of noticing and exploring what might be stirring within you. I might point out things that I am noticing, but the focus is on you and your own exploration. Usually, the soul speaks when we become quiet and receptive. Often, it has been waiting for our attention for some time.So, who is spiritual direction for? For anyone willing to go deeper and connect with their own spirit, and with their highest self.Perhaps you are experiencing a life transition or crisis, and are asking yourself deep and existential questions. Or perhaps nothing has happened, and yet you are feeling restless, sad, angry or numb for no apparent reason, and are ready to ask your soul what this is about.Practically, this means that I meet with you at a set time, usually for an hour. I have an office in downtown Ventura, CA, or I we connect via zoom. With some clients, I meet outdoors, where the land or the ocean becomes a third voice in the conversation, and offers its own spiritual gifts.
Grief and Loss
Loss takes many forms. The most obvious one is probably the loss of a loved one.However, there are more subtle, but just as impactful forms of grief that are often not talked about. For example, you might be grieving an aspect of yourself that once gave you meaning, purpose and identity.Or you might have lost the certainty of a faith, or system of beliefs that no longer work, and are searching for a new way to make sense of life. With such personal changes comes often a painful loss of community.
Grief isn’t something you simply “get over” or "move on" from — it’s something that we need to learn to accept as a part of ourselves.The good news is that you don't have to do this on your own. Grief support gives you space to authentically feel without having to pretend, practical steps to heal, and the quiet presence of someone who listens without judgment.I am sorry for your loss, and my wish for you is to feel whole again.
Contact
Please use the form below to send me an email, or call me at (805) 669-0870.
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